Exploring the World with Mayson Pearl

Thursday, August 14, 2014

#100HappyDays #24 #25

Making new memories at old places. Yesterday we spent the day playing at a park that I grew up going to.

And today was filled with bittersweet memories as we said goodbye to my grandfather who passed away late Sunday night. He was 93 years young!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Usually things people post on Facebook don't bother me. I know that you gotta take most of what is posted on social media with a grain of salt. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I don't post my opinions on Facebook and I don't make a habit of agreeing or disagreeing with the opinions of others. But if I'm being honest, since the tragic passing of Robin Williams, there have been quite a few statuses about suicide and depression that have made my blood boil. Perhaps my emotions are simply on edge with the recent passing of my grandfather or maybe its because I suffer from depression and anxiety myself.

Why am I finding myself uncharacteristically angry at a silly post on Facebook?

I guess it's because deep down this topic for me is anything but silly. I've never personally experienced suicidal thoughts but I can easily see how depression could spiral into that. Mental disorders, depression, suicide- those are all scary things. As humans we are afraid of what we don't understand. To most of us suicide is a frightening and unexplainable act. For that reason alone I'm willing to give people the benefit of the doubt for having these somewhat insensitive Facebook posts. Maybe they feel that way out of fear? Maybe they feel that way because they have no experience with it? I don't pretend to know enough about suicide to freely speak on it but here's my food for thought on the matter.

Suicide is not caused by a character flaw.

It's not an inherently selfish act.

It's not lack of willpower.

Nor lack of faith.

And for God's sake it's not something you can pray yourself out of!

Believe it or not Christians commit suicide too! I'm so tired of the whole "Oh ye of little faith" bullshit that is being thrown around. Many years ago I used to pray and pray and pray (we're talking weeping on my knees kind of prayer) that god would take my depression and anxiety away. And guess what happened?! He didn't! Over time I've been lucky enough to be able to learn to manage my anxiety and depression and I've also learned to not be angry at God for answering my most heartfelt prayer with a resounding "NO!" Everyday there are people who pray in earnest for their terminally ill child to live and God tells them no. People pray to be cured from cancer and God says no. It might be beyond human comprehension to understand but God tells us "NO" a lot. And there are many other times when God remains silent. I don't presume to know whether he acts any differently in the case of some depression led suicides.

Let us not judge another's faith by his or her last act on earth. Only God knows the true story and he has been known to give the silent treatment.